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Vocaloid Fic: Diamonds in the Rough Chapter 11

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Doubt


As soon as the Vocaloids left the side room they were swarmed by people.

"You know what the funny thing is?" Meiko said, having to raise her voice over the noise, "I'm actually getting used to this."

Most of those gathered around were there to gush—not that that was hard to take. But among the throng were musicians from some of the bands that had played earlier, and their congratulations were pretty heartening.

"My friend and I saw you the other day at the mall!" one of them said, and the person with them nodded. "We really liked your stuff!"

Miku beamed and thanked her. She had to stand back a little as her wig hair trailed down near their feet and if anyone happened to step on it, her Vocaloid identity would be blown. Nerissa had done wonders with their makeup, making their eyes seem bigger and brighter, and their skin silky smooth. To ruin it now would be horrible.

Kaito and Meiko stood in front of her, keeping the people at bay while thanking them as well.

"Yes, yes thank you again!" Ms White said, getting crushed a little. She, Teto, Peaches, Uta and Nerissa were handing out cards with the Vocaloid details on them which the crowd willingly took.

"Geez…I know half the town comes to these festival things, but this is ridiculous!" said Meiko.

As if fate had heard her, a cameraman snuck up on them and got their attention.

"Smile for the camera, kids!" he said and a white flash temporarily blinded Allen.

Thankfully, he was mostly hidden from view, trying to keep out of the way.

"Perfect," the cameraman said, then aimed his camera at them again. "This one's for the newspaper!"

Allen heard Miku gasp. "The newspaper!!"

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Teto squealed, shaking Miku's shoulders.

"Hello there!" A smartly-dressed woman pushed forward through the crowd to get to them. "I'm a reporter from the local newspaper here for the festival. May I ask you some questions about you..um…Vocaloids, was it?"

Ms White looked like she was going to faint, but she pulled herself together.

"Of course…" she said, steering the reporter to the side. "I'm the co-manager."

Miku, Kaito and Meiko all stared at each other as if they couldn't believe what they were hearing. Teto snapped them out of it by roping them into a group hug Nerissa struggled against Teto's tug on her arm, but was pulled in by Riley. Uta and Peaches followed enthusiastically.

Riley popped her head up out of the mess of arms and legs to grin at Allen. She held out her hand and before Allen knew it he was caught in the group hug too. Surrounded by the giggles and laughter of his best friends, he couldn't stop smiling. It was the best feeling ever.

-----

Annabelle drove Riley and Allen home soon after that, while the others stayed behind to pack up and answer questions about Vocaloids. Riley was buzzing in the back seat, talking a mile a minute about how exciting and awesome and amazing the night was. Allen let her gabble on as a wave of exhaustion had hit him as he got into the car. He had no idea why he was so tired when he hadn't even sung, but he was. All Allen wanted to do was curl up and ….

He was gently shaken awake by Annabelle when they reached the house and stumbled out groggily. Somehow he managed to get inside, but was practically dragging himself by the time he got to the stairs. All the adrenaline that had been pumped into him at the festival had worn him out and even though it wasn't even six yet, he longed for sleep.
Riley bounded up the stairs, apparently without taking a breath, still burbling on and on at several hundred decibels. When Allen eventually joined her at the top of the stairs, Riley grabbed his arm and swung him around, giggling madly, then let him go so suddenly that he was almost thrown back down the stairs.

His twin misunderstood his slowness. She placed her hand on her shoulder, making him look at her.

"Don't worry about it, Allen," she assured him, "We'll be next!!"

And with that, she ran off to her room squealing, probably planning to call Michaela and spend the rest of the evening excitedly chatting to her. Allen let her do that, now feeling a little more awake her words sank in…

We'll be next….we'll be next…we'll be next….

One thing was for certain; he definitely wasn't going to be sleeping tonight.

----

The next day at school Allen spent his lunch period hanging out at the far end of the courtyard with a tree and a wall for company. This had become his regular hangout and it was brilliant because no one bothered coming over there. It was a great place to think.

At least it was until Riley found him.

"A-ha! I thought I might find you here," she said, looking down on him as he rested against the tree.

"Congratulations," Allen said, his mouth filled with food.

"Pig, chew with your mouth shut!" Riley scolded before sliding down beside him and stealing some of his lunch.

"Hey!" he said, but gave up and let her eat.

"Weird lil' joint you got here," Riley commented as she munched. "This was where it all began for you, wasn't it?"

"Yep," Allen said, closing his tired eyes. As he'd predicted, he hadn't got much sleep the night before; too busy stressing about when it would be his turn to be a Vocaloid.

"Must be kind of lonely, huh?" Riley said, not seeming to notice how wiped her brother was.

"It's peaceful," Allen corrected, not opening his eyes. "Well, at least it was."

Allen felt Riley give him a little shove.

"Ha! You're welcome, meanie!"

Allen, finally catching up with his brain, came to his senses.

"Wait, why are you here? Don't you have your friends or something?"

Allen heard her scoff.

"Those airheads? No thank you. I mean, they're alright, but it's not like you can actually talk to them about stuff that matters, other than their hair or something. They don't want to hear whatever I've got to say."

Okay, that made him feel a little bad.

"Besides," Riley continued, "You're way more fun, even if you are kind of a stick in the mud."

"I am not!" Allen argued, but he was too sleepy to pick a fight with her. He just wanted to sleep…

"Uh, Allen?" he heard a voice say.

"What is it, Riley?"

"Baby bro, that wasn't me, that was..."

He snapped his eyes open to see Michaela standing awkwardly in front of them.

"Hi," she said.

Allen immediately got to his feet.

"Hi!" he said a little too loudly. Riley giggled behind him.

"Can I talk to you for a sec? In um…private?" Michaela asked him.

"Uh…" Allen looked back at Riley, who shrugged her shoulders and continued to pig out on his lunch.

"Go ahead, I'm good."

Michaela and Allen wandered over to the wall.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No…" said Michaela, fiddling with her non-Vocaloid hair. "I just wanted to thank you for yesterday; encouraging me to go on stage and all." She smiled at him, though her eyes looked a little sad.

"What happened back there exactly?" Allen asked her softly. "I've never seen you act like that before."

Michaela looked at him with a pained expression.

"I guess I just had a little breakdown," she said.

"About what?"

Michaela sighed. "Look, Allen, ever since I've started this Vocaloid thing I've never had to lift a finger for myself because everyone has done it for me. All I hear is praise from the others about how wonderful and special I am when really…I just got lucky. I'm so dependent on people now that I doubt I could do anything on my own."

"But…you are talented!" Allen said, not expecting this at all. "I told you about how I felt about your audition; you were great!"

"Well, maybe." Michaela sighed again. "But at the same time I've just been relying on all of you since the beginning, taking you for granted and now…"

She trailed off. To his horror, he saw her blink back tears.

"Now that we've come this far, I don't want to let anyone down if my luck runs out. The truth is that I'm terrified, Allen. Terrified that I'll screw up and let you all down just because I'm naïve and I couldn't handle things on my own."

A tear ran down her cheek and Allen resisted the urge to brush it away. Instead, he took the safer option and put her hands in his.

"I had no idea," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You've just seemed so confident up till now that I didn't realise that you are as scared as I am."

Michaela sniffled, blinking harder to stop the already escaping tears. He shushed her, holding her hands tight. Now he had to be the brave one.

"I'm probably not the best person to say this but…I have no doubt that you'll do great. When you become Hatsune Miku it's like you turn into somebody else. It's beautiful, really and I admire you so much for it. I'd give anything to be half as magical as you. Anyone would."

Suddenly Michaela's arms were around him again and it was all Allen could do to not melt into a puddle right there.

"If…if you believe I can do it then I believe you can do it," Michaela whispered into his hair, then pulled away.

"You have that magic in you too, Kagamine Len."

Allen smiled and watched her leave.

He returned to the tree where Riley was gawping at him.

"What?" he said innocently. "Did you hear anything?"

"No, but I definitely saw something! What was that hug about, eh?" She wiggled her eyebrows, smirking at him. Allen felt like his whole head was a boiling kettle and steam was blowing out of his ears.

"N-nothing!" he stammered, hanging onto the tree so he his wobbly legs didn't collapse under him.

"Oh really?" Riley said slyly. Allen practically saw her brain going tick-tick-tick inside her head.

"Wait a minute…you've got the hots for Michaela!!"

Bingo.

Allen slapped his hand over her mouth. "Keep it down, will you? Someone might hear you!"

Riley got free of his grip. "Who's gonna hear me? It's just us two and your crush is gone, lover boy!"

"She's not my crush!" Allen hissed, mortified. Riley was holding her sides laughing.

"Oh my gosh, haha! You like Michaela, wahahaha!"

Allen buried his face in his hands. What had he done? Riley was the last person on earth Allen wanted to know about his feelings about Michaela.

"Heeheehee this is too good." Riley was wiping tears from her eyes, looking like she was in pain. "I can't believe it. You and Michaela, of all people! Hahahaha!"

"Please don't tell anyone," he pleaded desperately. "I'll die."

Riley didn't hear him, being too busy cacking herself. Allen looked for holes to crawl into until she calmed down.

"So you haven't told her?"

"Of course not," Allen said quietly, knowing that his face was burning.

"Well, why not? You're going to be working together…"

"And that's the point; I'll have to face her almost every day if she says no."

"But what if she says yes?"

Allen froze.

"That won't happen."

"What?" Riley frowned.

"I said it won't happen!" Allen picked up his stuff and strode away as fast as he could,
leaving a bewildered Riley by herself.

"What did I do?" he heard her cry but he ignored her.

-----

Allen was set on getting to his art classroom. He knew Ms White wouldn't mind if he wanted some time to himself to think; he definitely needed it.
However, he was stopped and by the most unexpected people.

Oh no…not now.

"Hey sissy―I mean, er Allen..." the senior thug from the other day said. Allen took a step back.

"Didn't you get the memo last time that I want to be left alone?"

"Yeah, but we were just wondering if you could do us a favour…" The senior was dancing on the balls of his feet, looking nervous, though Allen had no idea why.

"If this is a joke…" Allen trailed off. He didn't have time for these guys. And he really wasn't in the mood to be played with.

"It's not a joke!" The senior said, now starting to look familiarly aggressive. His friend held him back and he calmed down. "Look, we just wanted to know if uh…you could hook us up with that blonde ponytail chick?"

Allen choked. "Excuse me?!"

The senior blushed a little. "Yeah man!"

"Um…why?"

"Dude, she's smoking hot!" he said, as if it was obvious. Allen couldn't believe his ears. This was the same girl that had almost dismembered them, right?

"What!!"

"Yeah, man if she's not your girlfriend or anythin', do you think you could give us her number or somethin'?"

Allen felt many emotions swirl inside of him but he refused to act on them, just wanting to leave as quickly as possible.

"I doubt she's interested!" He made a run for it, almost knocking the lovestruck senior over as he raced to the art classroom, humiliated and confused.

----

Things went much better at Vocaloid HQ. Teto had found a newspaper that featured an article about the Bake n' Take festival and they were in it!

Meckenzie held up the newspaper, waved it like a banner and then read it to everybody.

"This year's Bake n' Take festival held at Lloyd Hall was a huge hit, featuring the scrumptious cakes made by fellow townsfolk that sold like 'hot cakes', if you will. The charities would like to thank everyone for their generous donations, which will all be given to a good cause.

As is tradition, a number of bands kindly volunteered to entertain the crowd and one new band stood out amongst the rest.

"Known by the name 'Vocaloids', three people dressed from head to toe in colourful yet bizarre costumes wowed everyone with their stunning vocals and wonderful stage performance.

This talented group's co-manager told me this:

"We're going to change things for the better. We are unlike anything this town has ever seen before."

Call them diamonds in the rough or weird cosplaying kids; all I know is that they've got a fan in me!"


Meckenzie nearly dropped the newspaper and couldn't finish reading the article as everyone scrabbled to get a better look. They weren't on the front page, but, in between the photos of cakes and people hosting the charities, there was a snapshot of Kaito, Meiko and Miku
in all their Vocaloid glory.  

"That's us!" Michaela squealed, hugging Riley. Everyone was hugging everyone, jumping up and down.

Ms White was speechless and had to sit down.

"Is that really how we look?" Kyle said, peering at their picture. "I can't even recognize
myself."

"Ditto," Meckenzie said, her voice quivering.

"This is the best thing that's ever happened to us!" Michaela said, meaning it. She shot Allen an elated smile and he threw one back, happy for her and the others. Riley saw this and raised one cocky eyebrow. Allen motioned for her to shut it.

"Diamonds in the rough…" Kyle mused. "It kind of fits."

"You bet it does!" Teto said, joggling him. "This is so cool!"

"On the other hand you could just be weird cosplaying kids." Nerissa said, but it didn't seem like her heart was in being spiteful and she too was smiling.

"Well I'm immensely proud of all of you for the work you've put in." Ms White managed to stand up. "We wouldn't have got this far without you. And that's why I want to tell you that we have―"

"Oh hey, Mim!" Teto called out, "come and join the party!"

Mim emerged from the stairway and everyone noticeably quietened down.

"Mim!" Ms White said, looking startled.  "I was wondering if you would join us, especially
after our big success."

"Of course," Mim said flatly, looking at the kids as if she just realized they were there.
"Well done."

Okay, so not the most heartfelt of congratulations.

"Gee, thanks." Meckenzie said.

"I have another reason for being here," Mim continued, ignoring Meckenzie, "as I have finally found a suitable person to join Sweet Ann as an adult Vocaloid."

"And that's saying something, considering how picky Mim is," Nerissa whispered to Allen.

Two figures came out of the stairway in Miriam's wake. One was Annabelle and the other…

"This is Primrose; Vocaloid alias Prima," Mim explained and a dark-haired lady stepped forward.

"Classy," Meckenzie commented, picking up on the woman's fancy clothing and the black ringlets curling around her powdered face. "Where'd she pick up this piece of work from? The art gallery?"

"It is wonderful to meet you all," Primrose said poshly.

"It's nice to meet you too!" Michaela said, friendly as ever.

"So…what's your genre of singing?" Meckenzie asked.

"Opera."

Meckenzie's eyes widened. "Um, wow okay. How exactly are we going to harmonize with an opera singer, Miss?" Meckenzie looked to Ms White, but Mim interrupted them.

"You won't be," she said briskly. "Now that we have a second person, Prima will be working with Sweet Ann on the more mature songs and performances while the rest of you will continue on the simpler songs fit for your experience levels. I doubt both groups will see each other very much at this point as you will have separate practice sessions that balance school or work with Vocaloid."

"It's all very serious." Riley joked, but shut up when she saw Mim's hard face.

"Yes it is. And if you're not going to take it seriously I won't hesitate to remove you," Mim warned.

Riley gulped.

"Hopefully it won't come to that," Ms White said hastily, then looked hard at Mim, "I promise it won't."

Mim stared at Ms White with her steely eyes. "It better not."

Mim left soon after that, the new Vocaloid following close behind her. Mim and Prima didn't say anything else to the Vocaloids. Annabelle blew a kiss to Allen as she left as well.

"Charming," Meckenzie said when the door shut. "I almost forgot how much of a sweetheart Mim is."

"Don't take it to heart." Ms White said. "She means well."

"What's her deal? I thought she was going to push me out a window or something." Riley sat down on the floor, playing with a discarded tiara from the prop box.

"And where exactly would she find a window in a basement?" Nerissa pointed out.

"What did she mean by 'simpler songs'?" Kyle asked.

"It seems we're not good enough for her," Meckenzie said. "Go figure."

Nerissa rolled her eyes. "Don't go starting pointless drama."

"You're one to talk," Meckenzie snapped but left it at that.

"Not good enough?" Michaela said, looking worried. Allen remembered their conversation that afternoon and gave her a reassuring look even though he wasn't feeling too confident himself.

"Don't be silly, she didn't mean anything like that," Ms White said. "It's just that you all are less experienced then Sweet Ann or Prima. It makes sense for them to do the tougher songs."

"That hardly seems fair," said Meckenzie. "I thought we would've already proven ourselves to her after we rocked the house last night."

"Things are complicated with Mim, that's all. She wants you all to do well."

"I guess…" Riley huffed, "but she doesn't have to be so stingy about it. Whatever happened to her to make her so grumpy?"

"I don't think you want to hear that bedtime story," Nerissa said, perching herself on the counter bench. "It ain't pretty."

"Nerissa, please," Ms White said firmly. "It's not our place to tell."

"What could possibly be so bad?" Meckenzie argued. "What could excuse her for being so…so...angsty?"

Ms White sighed. Teto put her hand on the teacher's shoulder.

"Maybe we should tell them," Teto said, surprisingly solemn for once. "It might help them understand."

Ms White bit her lip and nodded.

"Alright..." she said, defeated. "But what I'm about to tell you for your ears only; so you can understand why Mim is the way she is. This is not the sort of thing that should be spread around thoughtlessly."

"We promise we won't tell," Meckenzie said seriously.

Ms White caught eyes with each and every person in the room before she took a deep breath and started.

"Mim wasn't always like this. When she was much younger and went by Miriam, the Engloids were in their prime and she was quite happy, especially after they took her under their wing. For you see, Mim wasn't just Leon and Lola's protégé, she was also their friend; a good, trusted friend. They taught her everything she knew, from singing to dancing to acting and performing. Mim was so close to joining them in their concerts when it happened. Somehow word got out of a mysterious affair between Leon and Mim. It was true that Mim had feelings for Leon, but whether he felt the same way I have no idea. It tore Leon and Lola apart for a while, putting their performance schedule on hold. Mim begged Lola to reconcile with Leon, knowing how much they meant to each other. Eventually they teamed up again, Mim went back to her place as protégé and things were finally going well. Mim had changed, though. Despite being glad that Leon and Lola were together again, she still loved Leon. She became cold and hard, no longer the person that the Engloids once knew. One night, on their way home from a concert, Leon and Lola confronted Mim about how distant she had become.  The conversation quickly became very heated. They were driving into a bad storm; Leon got distracted, took a corner badly. The car went into a skid and crashed, instantly killing Leon and Lola. Mim woke up in hospital almost a week later, with broken bones and a broken heart."

The room was silent and Allen felt cold.

"I don't think Mim ever fully recovered. At first she wanted to bury all memories of the Engloids and refused to be called 'Miriam' any longer. For a while she just wandered around, muttering their names under her breath, but whenever someone brought it up she would just look at them, confused.  She was in serious denial. As time went on and people slowly started to forget Leon and Lola Lloyd, Mim became determined to keep them alive at all costs. Making it her sole purpose in life, she's been searching, waiting for their spirits to be reborn inside the new Vocaloids ever since."

----

"Holy cow…" Riley said as they left the costume shop.

"I'll say," Meckenzie replied, no snarky comments left in her. "I feel kind of bad for ripping on her now."

Allen didn't know what to say. How could he say anything after what he just heard? Then he remembered what Ms White had said weeks ago about a friend of hers having nightmares…

"We all know about Leon and Lola, but I've never heard anything like that about them before." Kyle was pale, his absent-minded smile wiped off his face.

Michaela didn't say anything either, staying close to Allen and Kyle, shivering. He didn't blame her.

Annabelle drove up beside them, getting out.

"What's with the glum faces?" she asked, seeing how shaken they looked. Allen wondered if she knew anything about what happened to Miriam. Allen decided not to tell her. He waved bye to his friends and went over to the car.

"Nothing," he said, climbing into the front seat. "Right now I just want to go home."
"Mmm," Riley mumbled, quietly getting into the backseat. Annabelle looked at the two of them for a moment.

"Uh huh…" she said, starting the car up and driving them away.

Riley and Allen were quiet on the journey home, Mim's story circling in their minds. When they arrived, Allen didn't even notice his legs leading him to his bedroom. He flopped down on his mattress, exhausted from all the thinking he'd done that day. Right now, he just wanted it to end.

He didn't resurface for dinner and Annabelle left the meal outside his door, somehow knowing that he wanted space.

Allen picked at his food, his stomach feeling hollow and empty and didn't eat very much.
He didn't notice that he had fallen asleep until he woke up in the middle of the night after a nightmare. In it, he was in the car with Leon and Lola and Mim and the rain was pouring down so hard it sounded like bullets were landing on the windscreen. The horrible squealing sound of the wheels skidding on the road made Allen clench his teeth and brace himself as the car crashed. A wretched scream filled his ears.

Panting heavily, Allen sat up. He was covered in a cold sweat and threw his blankets off. Swearing under his breath he rubbed at his eyes. He guessed it had to be around two or three in the morning, but he had no intention of going back to sleep.
So he sat there in the dark, waiting for the sun to rise and hoping that the terrible dream would fade from his memory.

-----

Things were going a little better at Allen and Riley's singing lesson the next day.
Since they had no official music room, everyone sort of hung around the Vocaloid HQ and did what they could manage. Michaela and Meckenzie were going over duet they might do and Kyle was holding up a sheet of paper, memorizing some lyrics, all the while humming loudly. Allen and Riley were in the small room behind the counter, where Teto actually stored a piano of all things, with Ms White who had them doing some singing warm-ups before attempting to practise their debut song.

"Can you sing this note?" Ms White asked, playing a note somewhere high along the scale.

Riley sang it with ease and Allen managed to keep up, surprisingly. Much to his chagrin, Allen still had quite a high voice, a bit girly really, and found it was very embarrassing that he could follow the girls much better than he could Kyle.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Allen," Ms White said when he brought it up. "You should be proud to have such a pretty voice."

Which, of course, made it all worthwhile.

At the start of the session, Ms White had announced: "We're going to try another street performance in a couple of days since that seemed to bring a crowd around last time. This time we'll include you and Riley, introducing the Kagamine twins—Rin and Len. Is that
alright?"

He had said yes at the time, but on the inside he was screaming. Even with the others being so supportive, Allen still had doubts about being Kagamine Len.

He was glad Riley would be with him. She wouldn't let him run away or chicken out and she could always catch him if he felt the urge to faint on stage again. Oh geez, he really hoped that wouldn't happen. It made him embarrassed beyond belief that he had fainted in front of everyone at his audition.

When he'd told Ms White about his problem she had recommended singing in the bathroom, watching himself in the mirror. What this would accomplish Allen had no idea.

Still, he was desperate enough to try, but he would wait until Riley was out of the house. The last thing he needed was Riley's merciless teasing.  

Ms White went over the second verse of their song with them, playing the piano with her spindly fingers. Allen felt the familiar tingling inside of him when he sang with Riley, his nervous voice mixing with her confident one. Riley ever so quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it for that extra bit of encouragement. Allen was delighted at this and smiled at her, but she ruined the moment by crossing her eyes and sticking her tongue out, making Allen stuff up his singing because he was giggling too much. Or that could have been from lack of sleep. He was trying so hard not to let out a big yawn that his eyes were watering.

Ms White shook her head at them but she didn't look mad. "We'll take a break. You two are almost ready."

Riley bobbed her head in some sort of manic nod, dashing off to bug Meckenzie and Michaela. Ms White stopped Allen on his way out.

"I hope you don't mind that I'm getting you to sing with your sister first instead of on your own," she said to him. "I thought it might help you get on your feet before trying to do it yourself."

"It's fine," Allen said truthfully, "Thanks for looking out for me, Miss."

Ms White's eyes sparkled behind her silver bangs.

"Anytime."

----

Allen wasn't sure what he wanted to accomplish as he stood looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, which was still slightly fuzzy from the steam of his shower. Annabelle was out shopping and Riley had said something about going to visit Michaela.

He was completely alone in the house, which was what he wanted at the moment. If anyone saw what he was about to do, he'd die.

"Umm…" Allen said to himself, moving a little closer to the mirror. His hair was wet from the shower, but thankfully didn't hang as heavy as his old haircut. He had a towel tied around his waist for modesty (and the fact that, sadly, there wasn't much to look at anyways) and his prepubescent-like chest was bare.  

He wasn't sure if his face was red from the hot shower or from embarrassment.

"Umm…" he said again, his voice echoing around the bathroom walls.

Taking a deep breath, Allen put his hands on either side of the sink and began to sing softly.

"Even if we are apart
We are the one, no, the er…something Gemini in the sky
Even in the er, something, something…lonely night
We are Gemini, fated to meet, umm, beyond the sky…"


Okay, rough start for his impromptu practice run of the song he was going to perform with Riley for the debut of the Kagamine twins. Even if he couldn't remember all of words (okay, only a few of the words) without the lyrics in front of him, at least he was vaguely in tune. Huh, so serenading in the mirror wasn't as stupid as he'd originally thought. He was able to see what he was doing and how he looked when singing. Having something to focus on made the whole process a bit easier. He had more luck with the next verse.

"Suddenly I woke up at 2 a.m.
I had a nightmare, a really bad one
When I'm frightened like now
Somebody, help me, please…"


Okay, that was strangely fitting to his current situation.

He was so caught up in singing that he didn't hear a set of loud footsteps coming up the stairs and towards the bathroom, so Riley scared him out of his wits when she burst into the room.

"What the―?! Ew! Put a shirt on, you creep!" she said, covering her eyes yet somehow managing to throw a nearby towel at him. It hit Allen right in the face. He pulled it off and chucked it right back at her. He was extremely thankful he had his own towel tied securely around him.

"I'm the creep? You're the one who barged in here, invading my privacy!"

Riley giggled, effectively dodging the towel. "I'm only teasing. What are you doing in here? I heard noises…you're not doing anything pervy in here, are you?"

"Of course not!" Allen yelped, feeling hot. "And what are you doing here? I thought you were going to see Michaela."

"I still am! I just forgot something so I had to run back and get it. I ask again, what are you doing in here, oh baby bro of mine?"

"I was just…uh…"

"Oh I get it, checking out your muscles right?" Riley grinned. "You are such a boy."

"Well…" Allen studied himself in the mirror ashamed of what he saw there. He had ropey arms and legs with elbows and knees that stuck out like doorknobs. There were no defining muscles to check out; nothing in the least to be proud of. His body was even worse: slumping shoulders not much wider than his sister's and no abs to speak of, not even a one-pack. Completing this dismal picture was his squishy tummy, which appeared to stick out a bit more than his chest. Although he wasn't fat by any means, he wasn't exactly fit and firm either.

It was incredibly pathetic.

Riley picked up on his glum expression. "Hey, I was just kidding, you know?"

Allen sighed. "Be honest with me, Riley. Would a girl ever go out with someone…like me?"

Riley frowned, "Well as your twin sister, I would say that's totally creepy for one thing."

"I didn't mean you!" Allen snapped, "I meant…Michaela."

"I thought so. What do you mean someone like you?"

This was extremely awkward to talk about, especially with his sister, but she was the only one who knew about his crush on Michaela. He wasn't making much progress on his own so he was desperate enough to ask for help. Even if it had to be from Riley.

"Girls like athletic guys, right? Guys who are fit and do sporty things instead of things like singing?"

Riley crossed her arms, "Are you saying singing isn't as good as playing a sport?"

"No! I just meant that girls would be interested in fit guys instead of…people like me."

"What do you think is wrong with people like you?"

He shrugged. "I'm just thinking about whether or not I would be good enough for someone like Michaela."

"You keep repeating yourself!" Riley threw her hands up into the air, "You're dividing people into categories of 'people like this' or 'someone like that'. Things like that shouldn't matter!"

Allen hung his head. This conversation was not going as well as he'd been hoping.

"What makes you so sure Michaela wouldn't be interested in 'a guy like you'? Have you even asked her about stuff she likes?"

"Well, no." Allen admitted, "but I just thought―"

"You think too much!" Riley was nearly shouting now. "You're worrying so much about what other people think of you that you don't give them a chance to explain themselves."
"It sounds so bad when you say it like that. I just want to be the sort of person that people like. What's wrong with that?"

Riley's face softened. "Wanting to change yourself is fine; just as long as you do it for the right reasons. Michaela already likes you, as a friend at least, and so do the others. What makes you think you're not already likeable?"

Allen didn't answer her immediately.

"This isn't just about Michaela, is it?" Riley said gently, taking a step towards her brother. "What else is going on here, Allen?"

Allen bit his lip, turning towards the mirror.

"I don't know, Riley…only a month ago I was just some other lonely kid with bad hair and a moody attitude. Then Ms White came along and showed me what my life could be like, if I could become Kagamine Len. But I don't think I'm there yet. You and the other Vocaloids are doing so well. I…I don't know If I really belong with you guys. I'm shy, anxious and still moody from time to time. I have an amateur singing voice, even with Ms White's help, and just the thought of being on a stage makes me want to curl up inside and never come out again. I'm so stressed and worried over what's going to happen when it's my turn to prove I am a Vocaloid that who knows what could happen if I step on stage. I might freeze right there or even faint again. You're all so special and talented, and even though I know by now it's not, you all make it look so easy. Think about it, everyone but me brings something special to the group. Right from the beginning Meckenzie has been on our side, wanting the best for us and looking out for us like a mother or a big sister. Kyle makes everyone laugh and lightens the mood when things get too serious. Michaela's great in everything she does; she's like the heart of the group and does her best to keep us all together even though she might be scared herself. And you…"

Allen trailed off to look at his speechless sister as she waited for him to finish.

"And you are just so confident and involved in anything you set your mind to. You're
determined, strong and it's like you're not afraid of anything. You're our rock."

Riley grinned. "Well, yeah that's true. Nothing fazes me at all." Then she became serious again. "But if you can say all those nice things about us then why can't you do the same for yourself?"

Allen brushed past some wet clumps of hair from his face. He really didn't want to cry at this point, but it was getting hard to not fall apart right there on the bathroom floor. All the emotional stress, the nightmares, the worry of the people around him had been slowly chipping away at him over time. And now, like a burst dam, a lot of things he had been secretly thinking to himself, even the things he wasn't fully aware that he was thinking about, were finally flowing out of him. Allen didn't know if he could stop himself at all anymore.

"I'm having a lot of trouble imagining myself being anything more than just plain old Allen. When I wore my Kagamine costume, I didn't know if I could really live up to it. I used to be a nobody and now the chance of being a somebody is being dangled in front of my eyes. I don't want to mess up. I can't mess up. Otherwise I'll be a nobody again; just part of the crowd."

Riley put her arm around him. "You'll never be a nobody because I won't let that happen. Getting to know you again through the Vocaloid project was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. I care about you so much, Allen, and I really wish you could see how much you mean to everyone. I don't think I could even imagine doing this without you by my side."

They hugged and Allen finally managed to smile. "You know, for all your loudmouth moments you can be really sentimental sometimes."

He felt her quiver under his hold as she giggled. "It's a gift."

She pulled away, still smiling. "And if you really want to get a bit fitter then I can help you out."

"Really?"

"Definitely. And Allen?"

"What?"

"Please put some pants on."
Chapter 10: [link]

Chapter 12: [link]


*headdesk* GRAAAAAAAAAAH. AM SORRY. D:

The original title I had in mind for this chapter was 'Deus Angst Machina' for you tropers out since that is basically what this chapter is.

Also, if by now you've noticed the order of the Vocaloids being released then you can figure out who is about to show up pretty soon. *hides from fangirls*
© 2013 - 2024 TheWhiteJewel
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Vyslanec's avatar
Aawww, the teenage romance is slowly growing up, I hope it doesn't find any big obstacles in the path (although it would be more interesting xD), Allen seems like slowly gaining her hearth without knowing it, follow your heart young man, it will lead you to happiness.

At least a little of background for Miriam, I really like her, even with that cold attitude I feel ti gives her presence. Its painful to loose someone that close to you like that, even more in a situation like that, but trying to keep her friends alive in that way, it really makes me admire someone like her ^^

Hey! What's with the skinny boys? When you mess with one, you mess with all of them. Kidding but I burst out laughing at all the description of Allen in the mirror, it reminded me of myself a few years ago, it's hard but, "you can do it skinny boy! YOU CAN DO IT!!!"

Beautiful chapter, really looking forward to the next one, and enjoy your vacations.
Take care ^^